This guide is useful for women who have men who want to be dominated but are unsure of what they should do or say.
The goal of wanting to be dominated is not for the man to have to tell you what he wants you to do to dominate him. Although this is necessary at first to understand where he is at, after he has told you once, he just wants it to become his lifestyle.
Don't be ashamed to do some of these things. In fact, make him feel ashamed of them. That is the goal of domination.
In fact, the best way to dominate your man is to make him do things you know he doesn't want to do. This applies both inside and outside the bedroom.
If you dominate him by making him do the dishes and household chores, but you don't dominate him in the bedroom, he will get tired of satisfying your needs and miss out on his own.
Women tend to overcomplicate things in their heads. They think things like:
Why does he want me to do that? What will happen if I do that? Will he respect me less if I do that? I don't know if I can do that... That seems weird, I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that... Is my man gay?
Ladies, there's something you need to understand. None of those thoughts matter to a male submissive, and worrying about them is just creating problems that will prevent you from achieving total happiness in your life and his.
It's more likely that your man just wants to give you control because he's an alpha male and doesn't get to experience things like submission. That's the case with most submissive men. In their everyday lives, they are very alpha, in control, and take charge every day.
When they submit to you, they free themselves from all responsibility and do what you tell them to do. Honestly, they are unconsciously guiding you down a proven path of happiness, intimacy, and an open and strong relationship. They just don't know how to communicate it.
Done correctly and linked to sexual behavior modification, you can get pretty much anything you want from your man.
I'll repeat that. Done correctly and linked to sexual behavior modification, YOU CAN GET PRACTICALLY ANYTHING YOU WANT FROM YOUR MAN.
Is this a bad thing?
Harmful to you or him?
No. In fact, emotionally, it feels REALLY GOOD!!! We also know that women need more foreplay and that men prefer to go straight to penetration and finish in 5 minutes, so take advantage of the fact that you have a slave and spend as much time as you want on foreplay and make your slave last as long as you want. Use him for your pleasure and you will give him his dream in this way.
The only thing standing between you and everything you've ever dreamed of is your own mind. Take your man, bend him over, and ride him like the dog he wants to be for you.
Don't think about it. Just do it. You'll see what happens. He'll become more obedient. He'll start doing chores automatically. He'll ask you what you need. That doesn't mean he's gay. It means he loves you and wants you to belong to him. Deep down, he needs to feel loved, desired, and being your sex toy for some reason proves that to him more than anything else you can do.
Because honestly, a TRUE submissive man doesn't care about the details if you do this right or that right. He cares that you tell him what to do, and that he has to obey.
If you want roses, you'll have them.
If you want back massages, I'LL GIVE THEM TO YOU!
If you want an orgasm, YOU'LL GET IT!
If you want to come home clean, YOU'LL GET IT!
Whatever you want, you'll have it. All you have to do is take the bull by the horns (in this case, the balls) and tell him to do it.
An important rule for all this to work is NOT TO LET HIM CUM TOO MUCH. If you do, keep it to a minimum. Having him full of semen keeps him in a submissive state. Also, you must be strict when giving an order. Sometimes your slave will not feel like doing what you have planned for him, or the punishment will be too harsh for him, but you must not take no for an answer. That's what the safe word is for. Until he says it, continue with what you had planned, so experiment, but always within the reasonable limits established beforehand.
This is where he is happiest when he is with you, and ultimately, with him serving you like a queen, you will have everything you ever wanted. So from now on, whenever you want, you can put YOUR pleasure before his, and you won't be doing anything wrong. On the contrary, you'll be giving him what he wants, although make sure you also fulfill your submissive's fantasies so that he doesn't get frustrated and to keep him hooked on you.
If you don't feel like a queen and you're struggling with the power he's giving you, there's a saying that rings true in all matters of life. Feel the fear and do it anyway.
Everything you want in life is at the other end of your strapon. Insert the strapon, wind up the male, and watch him serve.
Some submissives may not want pegging, but I can say that 99% of submissive men crave and need it. Stop wondering why this is suddenly happening.
Instead, let yourself go and watch your man become a better person. He will become a better lover who will put your sexual satisfaction before his own. He will contribute more to household chores. He will listen to you better when you need a shoulder to lean on. He is not weak in his submission; he is finding a part of himself that is making him a better person.
A person who cares more than before.
A person who will do more than he has done before.
A person who will live his life more attentive to the woman he loves.
Ladies, a word of warning to you. If you don't learn to embrace this, other women will, and if any of these women come into contact with your husband and sense his submissive side, they will sweep him away faster than you can say goodbye, my love.
Once strong men have found submissive tendencies, these feelings will not go away.
It's like the yin to their yang. They need it, they crave it, and they desire it. Their strong side will go after it. Their strong side will do whatever it takes.
This is the part where you win. This is the part where if you give them what they want, their strong side will do your bidding. It doesn't take a weak man to fully serve all of his woman's desires. In fact, take a look around you and see all the failed marriages where the man simply doesn't do his part because he's too lazy and self-indulgent.
Your submissive man doesn't want any more of that.
He has tasted happiness in serving you, and if you work with him, devote some time to training him, and satisfy his needs, all your dreams will come true.
Dream it, ask for it, command him to make it happen, and watch him strive to achieve it.
Don't wait for it to happen. Make it happen by dominating him. It's that easy to have the life you once dreamed of. Only it comes with a few twists you didn't see before. Accept the twists, ladies. Your life will never be the same. You will be able to focus more on your own pleasure than ever before.
Traditional marital roles include a dominant man and a submissive woman. These roles have been changing so that men and women have a more equal relationship. However, some couples enjoy a relationship in which the woman is more dominant than the man. For this to work, both parties must agree that this is what they want. The dominant woman differs from a dominatrix in that the role is expanded to include all areas of the relationship, not just the sexual aspects...
A basic guideline
Talk to your man about the role you want, or perhaps he wants you to take on as a dominant woman. Some men suggest this role because they find it more seductive or comfortable; others are open to it as a way to add some spice to the relationship part-time or, in some cases, full-time, while others are Switches and sometimes want you to dominate them but other times want to dominate themselves. Find out what you both want from the relationship and what your comfort zones are in terms of domination. Make a list of the areas you want to dominate. It can include things like household chores, sex, or control of free time. Approach your man with the list to see if he agrees.
Take the initiative in these areas. Tell your man what tasks he has to do and when, how he will spend his free time, and what you expect in the bedroom. Some dominant women extend their domination into the bedroom to include submissive positions and things like bondage equipment, but this depends on the comfort level of both parties...
How to train your man to adapt to a relationship dominated by a woman.
As mentioned above, to train your man, you will need to establish an agreement about the things you want him to learn, the rules you want him to practice, and ultimately comply with. Unless your only ambition is to play part-time in the bedroom, if you don't have an agreement or a “woman-led” relationship strategy, you are not ready to train or create profound changes in your relationship. The fact is, the more you demand, the more you will receive. Your regular, playful, but firm acknowledgment that he is the submissive partner in your relationship will very quickly encourage your man to become much more service-oriented than you could have imagined.
It must be said that beginners to this lifestyle often face the following dilemma: what you want your man to learn in your female-led relationship and what he wants to learn are very different. In all likelihood, you want him to learn to overcome his bad habits, work independently, take a little more initiative at home, feel fulfilled as he grows, gain confidence in your leadership, and participate as your supportive follower. He mainly wants to learn to serve your body, obey your commands, please you sexually, humiliate himself, and learn what it means to surrender. Given the difference and the size of the task at hand, you must choose your personal goals and the rules that accompany them wisely.
As with everything, the middle ground is usually found through compromise. If you want his full attention and for him to pamper you, you'll have to play with his fantasy. He'll love it, and you'll get better results. Make it your first goal to find out what motivates him, his most intimate sexual fantasies... and use this information to provoke and excite him, pushing him to serve you unconditionally and accept a more feminine relationship. Most likely, he was the one who showed the initial interest and suggested a possible lifestyle change, one that caters to his fantasies and is more than just a bedroom game. In this particular fantasy of his, you can safely assume that:
He wants you to exercise power over him, including humiliation and punishment of some kind.
He wants your interest and level of participation to be high, and for you to show confidence and be demanding.
He wants you to control sex and his orgasm, often including fantasies of fetish sex, accessories, and costumes.
He is willing to give you control.
He has a keen interest in your body and in serving you as a woman.
Although it is undoubtedly overwhelming and possibly confusing at first, receiving such unbridled and enthusiastic attention from your man quickly becomes not only fun, but incredibly addictive. It's a fact that almost all women who enter this lifestyle quickly see the rewards, and claim they would never choose to go back to the way things used to be in their relationships with their man. With a little variation and planning, you can enjoy the rich personal pleasures of the man you love while playing with his fantasy. The trick to training him and keeping him motivated consists of two elements: a certain degree of orgasm management on your part to ensure that his masturbation does not lock him into a constant state of sexual/emotional indifference, and a regular dose of teasing to keep his sexual energy flowing....
Chastity - An important key to a woman-led relationship.
It is commonplace to observe that men tend to be sexually promiscuous. If left to their own devices, they masturbate. Masturbation leaves men exhausted and often beside themselves. They lose focus on their partner or on the image that sparked their masturbatory fantasy. Biological and emotional signals seem to indicate that men should leave after ejaculation and start looking for their next sexual partner. It is not surprising that women are so often dissatisfied with their male partners...
Women-led relationships require men to overcome this biological predisposition and the cultural conditioning that reinforces it. Women-led relationships require men to find maximum pleasure in their partner's pleasure, rather than subordinating her pleasure to their own. This reorientation is a profound challenge for men, which undoubtedly explains the low (but growing) percentage of women-led relationships...
A chastity program is the best way for men to reorient themselves to be suitable for a woman-led relationship. By chastity, I mean that the man in a relationship does not have an orgasm unless it is in the presence and/or with the permission of his partner...
Some women and their partners prefer that the man maintain chastity through self-discipline. Others prefer the idea of using a chastity belt to enforce his chastity. There is no single correct way to practice chastity, but most agree that a man who practices chastity is expressing a deep respect for his partner and for women in general. Many speak of their chastity as a gift of their sex and sexual energy to their female superior and to the superior sex of which she is a part. For a man who masturbates frequently, chastity is a profound challenge. However, chastity is a challenge worth undertaking because it can help transform a man's relationship with his partner. Almost all accounts of a chastity regimen point out that the man becomes much more attentive to his partner's needs, serving her better both sexually and in a myriad of other ways that are pleasurable to her. The numerous religious traditions that use chastity/abstinence as a key element of their spiritual practice and service orientation are definitely on to something. Resolve to restrict your orgasms to situations where you have first given her pleasure in some way, whether sexual or otherwise.
In some female-led relationships, the man may even be asked to occasionally provide sexual service with his penis while foregoing his own orgasm, which poses a profound mental and physical challenge. Other female-led relationships will be oriented in such a way that the punished man provides sexual service in every way possible except using his penis. Ultimately, it is up to you to decide how best to integrate chastity into your relationship. What is important to understand, however, is that chastity is a great way to keep your submissive man feeling and expressing his submission to you...
The Importance of Teasing
As mentioned above, a vital step in taming your wild man and controlling or influencing his behavior lies in understanding and knowing what he imagines or wants in his fantasies. You really can't underestimate how crucial it is to have at least some notion of what your man fantasizes about sexually, so don't shy away from discussing this as openly as possible with him. At this point, it's fair to say that he has a frank fantasy of being sexually dominated in some way by a confident and powerful woman, but how and in what way exactly? Below are some of the most popular themes of female domination that your man may harbor spoken or unspoken fantasies about...
Popular themes of “female domination Dominatrix, also called ”domme": a woman who takes on the dominant role in bondage, discipline, and sadomasochism (deriving pleasure from physical or emotional abuse).
Forced sexual pleasures. Forcing is a misconception, but it can be part of role-playing. It can take the form of bondage, exhibitionism, etc. In any case, to a certain extent, these activities can test one's inhibitions.
T&D (“Tease and denial”): used to describe any technique that involves sexually stimulating a man to provoke intense arousal without reaching climax.
- Pegging (sexual practice in which a woman penetrates a man's anus with a strap-on dildo).
- Cum curious (fetish that forces the man to clean up and swallow his seminal fluid after orgasm).
- Forced chastity (chastity device designed to prevent masturbation or sexual intercourse)
- Bondage (state of being tied up like a slave)
- Cock and ball torture (also called “ball busting,” a sexual activity that involves torturing the male genitals)
- Sitting on the face (also known as “queening”: the woman sits on the man's face, usually to allow or force oral-genital or oral-anal contact).
The bottom line is that if the sexual energy he gets from his sexual fantasies isn't channeled through you in some way, he'll find other ways to feed his curiosity or hunger, so why not encourage him to do so?
It's not just about learning how to provoke him physically, but also mentally. After all, it is through his mind that you will have the most influence in changing his attitude and behavior toward accepting a more feminine relationship. Remember also that expressing the secrets of his soul is painfully difficult to do without the assurance that the woman on the other side of the relationship will accept and value it as a precious gift. Value and appreciate the trust he is willingly placing in your hands.
To conclude, let me share one last thought with you. The basis of female authority within a woman-led relationship requires that she dominate the man, and that he adore her, serve her, and submit to her. However, by definition, for a woman to dominate, she must have someone over whom to exercise her authority. Think of a planet populated only by dominant women and no submissive men. When everyone is dominant, no one is dominant; without worker bees, there can be no queen bee. The presence of a submissive male is what gives the female the opportunity to dominate. Therefore, ultimately, female domination can never revolve around the woman. Rather, it is about the female being dominant as seen through the eyes of a male who recognizes her superiority and derives personal pleasure and satisfaction from worshipping her and submitting to her authority. Both halves of a female-led relationship are therefore equally important.
- If you find it difficult to dominate your slave, you can put a mask on them to depersonalize them more easily and allow yourself to get carried away more easily.
- Dressing like a real, sexy dominatrix will make you feel more like one and you will be more comfortable assuming that role. So dress sexy, do your hair and makeup, to feel the power.
- Taking on another identity and another name can help you get into character. It can be a character you invent, or it can be a real character from a book, series, or even real life. Dress like them, wear a wig. Take on your other personality and act as they would. You can also do role-play. Have your slave call you and treat you as such. You can even take on the role of a foreigner and speak English, for example. This can make it easier to adopt another personality.
- Wearing some kind of mask that partially or completely covers your face also helps, as your slave will not see your expressions and will be able to get more into the role that you are going to act differently than you always do and you will look more intimidating.
- Do the same for your slave, make them take on another name and identity. Dress them accordingly and treat and call them as such.
- Covering your slave's eyes can also help you feel less embarrassed, as they won't be able to see you.
- When starting a session, it is recommended to do anything that helps change the atmosphere and put you in dominant mode and him in submissive mode. For example, send him to the shower and have him give himself an anal enema, as well as shave, and when he's done, have him wait for you in a room on his knees wearing the clothes you've put on a chair (if you want to dress him, but at least a collar is highly recommended so that he fully assumes his submissive role). You will change so that you look sexy and dominant, take on a new role if you want, and when you are ready, go to your slave ready for the session. If he is not in the position you have commanded, start the session with a severe punishment. Then, as soon as you arrive, make him kiss your boots or feet by bringing his face to the floor while you are standing.
- Have a safe word to stop everything immediately when you say it, and another to slow down what you are doing but not stop completely, so you can continue the game without any problems.
- It is usually better to focus the session on a few activities and explore them thoroughly, between 1 and 3 different activities, rather than trying to cram as many things as possible into a single session. After choosing them, try playing with them in different ways, exploring their possibilities.
- There are many ways to organize a Femdom session, but here is a good and simple one:
Sometimes you will want something in particular, such as role-playing, a spanking session, a punishment that has been left pending, training the submissive, or trying something new.
Thinking about the theme of the session means knowing what you want to do and where you want to take the submissive in it, experimenting and always listening to what the submissive needs, where their desires and interests lie, and, of course, knowing their limits.
- **Have the materials and time ready and available.**
- **Goal of the session**
- **The curve: beginning, climax, and descent**
- **Aftercare, cleaning, and conversation**
These are fairly general tips, and although I often prefer a more natural and organic session, you can always stick to these five tips to ensure that you are following certain steps and that the session will lead to something, especially when a D/s relationship is just beginning or you want to take it to another level, both in terms of practices and intimacy.
*DIRTY TALKING FULL GUIDE*
Dirty talk is one of the most powerful elements in a Femdom (Female Domination) dynamic. When used consciously and consensually, words have an electrifying power to stimulate, guide, and deepen the connection between a Dominant Woman and her submissive partner. While the physical aspects of female domination, such as impact play, bondage, or fondling and denial, can be highly erotic, the auditory cues of dirty talk act as emotional spice, bringing the power exchange to life in an intimate and exciting way.
In this comprehensive guide, we'll explore how you can effectively use dirty talk in a Femdom context to enhance your scenes, deepen your emotional bond, and create an atmosphere that is exciting and satisfying for both partners. This approximately 2,000-word guide will offer clear strategies, tips, and examples designed to nurture a healthy, consensual power dynamic where the erotic charge of words elevates every moment.
- **Understanding the Power of Words in Female Domination**
Many people focus almost exclusively on physical techniques in Femdom, overlooking one of the simplest yet most impactful ways to establish Domination: verbal communication. Words can:
- Set the Mood and Atmosphere: A single whispered phrase can change the energy of an entire scene, signaling that you are in control.
- Encourage Deeper Submission: The submissive often craves verbal affirmation of their role, their value, and their surrender.
- Increase Emotional Intimacy: Authentic dirty talk can create a sense of closeness that purely physical interactions might miss.
- Give Clear Instructions: Through words, you articulate boundaries, rules, and desires, ensuring the experience remains consensual and safe.
Although the words in a Femdom scenario can be sharp, cutting, or humiliating, they should reflect a loving and consensual intent between both partners. The essence of Femdom dirty talk involves finding a sweet spot between erotic challenge and genuine respect for each other's boundaries.
- **Laying the Groundwork: Negotiation and Consent**
Before the dirty play begins, it's essential to have a thorough conversation about boundaries, desires, and expectations. Female domination is built on mutual trust, so your submissive partner should feel comfortable sharing what types of verbal play turn them on and what boundaries they don't want crossed. Questions to explore in pre-scene negotiation include:
- What words and phrases turn you on?
How do you feel about humiliation, teasing, or mocking language?
Do you want me to comment on your body, your performances, or your fantasies?
These questions create a roadmap that you, as the Dominant, can follow to ensure your dirty talk remains erotic and respectful of boundaries.
**Safe Words and Traffic Light Systems**
- Safe word: Typically a single word (e.g., "Red") that, if used, signals immediate cessation of the scene and renegotiation or aftercare.
- Traffic light system: A common variation uses "Green" (continue), "Yellow" (slow down or check), and "Red" (stop).
- **Discovering Your Feminine Verbal Style**
In her classic text, The Mistress Manual, author and Dominatrix Lorelei (also known as Lorelei Powers) describes several archetypes of the Dominant Woman, such as the Goddess, the Queen, the Ruler, the Amazon, and the Nanny. Each archetype has a distinct flavor of Dominance, and your verbal style can be inspired by more than one. For example:
- Goddess: Exalted, aloof, majestic; she may use phrases like "Worship my body" or "You exist to serve my divine pleasure."
- Queen: Regal, strict, authoritarian; she might say, "Kneel before me" or "Prove to me you deserve a place at my feet."
- Ruler: Stern, instructive, corrective; she might say, "Be a good boy and obey every word," or "You need a proper lesson in obedience."
- Amazon: Fierce, physical, a warrior spirit; she might say, "You'll beg for mercy" or "Fight me if you dare. You know I'll win."
- Nanny: Tender but authoritarian; she might say, "Let me take care of you," or "You're a naughty little thing, and I know how to handle that."
**Tone, Cadence, and Language**
The way you express yourself is just as important as the words themselves. The same sentence can sound drastically different depending on the pitch, speed, and volume of your voice. Consider:
- Pitch: High and demanding versus soft and sensual.
- Cadence: Quick commands versus slow, deliberate, and purposeful words.
- Intensity: Gentle teasing versus stern commands.
- **How to Create Powerful Dirty Talk**
Commands are a staple of femdom dirty talk. They reinforce your authority while giving your submissive a clear task, such as:
- "Get on your knees, now."
- "Look at me when I talk to you."
- "Hands behind your back, don't you dare move them."
**Sensory Descriptions**
Enhance your words with vivid details. Describe what you are doing to them, what they look like, or how you want them to feel:
- "Feel the sting of my palm as it reddens your skin."
- "See how your body trembles just from the sound of my heels on the floor."
- "Listen to my voice as it seeps into your mind; you won't be able to resist my every word."
**Incorporating Their Name or Title**
Many submissives crave the personal validation that comes with hearing their name or title in dirty talk. Conversely, some prefer to hear objectifying terms like "boy," "pet," or "slave." Explore what resonates best for both of you. Some examples include:
- "Good boy, you're taking this so well."
Addressing your submissive with a consistent title or nickname can become an erotic anchor, a verbal cue that activates their submissive mindset.
**Rhythm and Pauses**
Don't feel the need to speak every second. Strategic silences or pauses increase the tension. These periods of silence allow the words to linger in the submissive's mind, giving them a moment to assimilate the message and their own arousal.
**Using Erotic Teasing and Threats**
Teasing or "threatening" your submissive in a playful, consensual way can be very arousing. For example:
"If you breathe without my permission, you can't touch me tonight."
"One more sound and I'll make sure that little mouth stays busy until I decide otherwise."
Make sure these threats are within previously agreed-upon limits, so they're more electrifying than alarming.
- **The Role of Humiliation**
For many submissives, humiliation is a powerful form of psychological arousal. It can involve insulting them, highlighting their "unworthiness," or belittling aspects of their masculinity. However, humiliation play requires a great deal of trust, consent, and emotional understanding.
**Negotiating Boundaries in Humiliation**
Humiliation can cut deep because it touches on shame and vulnerability. A thorough discussion before the scene about which words or topics are off-limits (e.g., referencing body insecurity, past trauma, or a sensitive family issue) is crucial.
**Balancing Toughness with Care**
You can be as rough as your submissive desires; sometimes, that adrenaline rush of being verbally “destroyed” is exactly the thrill they crave. However, attention afterward is essential, as your submissive may need reassurance that the humiliating words were part of consensual roleplay and not an accurate reflection of their feelings.
- **Integrating Dirty Talk with Physical Sensations**
When spanking, flogging, or caning, combine instructions with feedback:
“Hold perfectly still and let me enjoy this view.”
“Count each stroke out loud; if you lose count, we start over.”
"Does the belt hurt, or is it that you can't handle my power?"
The interplay of sharp sensations and command words can intensify your submissive's emotional high.
**Combining Teasing and Denial with Dirty Talk**
Teasing and denial is a femdom favorite, and dirty talk amplifies it. For example:
"You want to cum, don't you? Ask for permission."
"Look how needy you are. Pathetic, but so adorable in your desperation."
"If you're good enough, I might let you relieve yourself. But don't count on it."
Monitor your submissive's reactions. If frustration turns from erotic to distressing, you may want to recalibrate.
**Using Props and Triggers**
Props like collars, gags, or handcuffs can be the focus of dirty talk. When you put the collar around his neck, you can say, "Now you belong to me," or when you put the gag on, "This is so I don't have to hear your moans." Let each physical object become a catalyst for verbal creativity.
- **Maintaining Emotional Safety**
After you've verbally dominated, mocked, and possibly humiliated your partner, set aside quality time for aftercare. This might include:
- Hugging and praising them for how well they submitted.
- Offering gentle, positive affirmations that reestablish your love and respect.
- Allowing them to share how dirty talk made them feel: what turned them on, what they found too intense, and what they enjoyed the most.
A post-scene conversation offers an excellent opportunity to refine future sessions. Ask questions like:
- "What language or phrases turned you on the most?"
Used effectively, post-scene talk will nurture mutual trust, ensuring your dirty talk becomes more skillful and aligned with your partner's evolving desires.
- **Common Mistakes and How to Avoid Them**
If you use a word or phrase that your submissive has explicitly forbidden, you can break the trust. To avoid this:
- Keep a mental (or literal) list of taboo topics.
- If you're exploring new terrain, consult with your partner.
Over time, repeating the same commands can reduce their erotic impact. Keep a stash of new phrases or synonyms, experiment with different intensities of tone, or vary your approach from teasing to gently threatening.
**Shrinking Out of Shyness**
It's normal to feel shy or uncomfortable if you're not used to dirty talk, especially in a Dominant role. Here's how to overcome it:
- Practice key phrases in front of a mirror or in the shower.
- Start with simple commands before moving on to more elaborate phrases.
- Remember that your submissive partner craves this form of control and is encouraging you, not judging you.
**Edging with Words**
In addition to physical edging (bringing someone close to orgasm and then backing off), you can also do it verbally. Hypnotic or repetitive language can bring your submissive into a state of deep suggestibility. For example:
- Repeat slowly and gently, but relentlessly, "You belong to me" at the height of their arousal.
- Whisper in their ear exactly how you want them to feel, step by step, building the tension until they explode to please you.
If you're in a long-distance relationship or just want to tease your submissive over the phone or via video chat, dirty talk is even more important. Use the camera to your advantage, describing what you're wearing, what you plan to do the next time you meet, and giving them explicit instructions about what they can and can't do with their own body during the conversation.
**Written or Audio Erotica**
Another creative avenue is sending audio clips or text messages that incorporate teasing, humiliation, or instructions. This can keep your power dynamic alive outside of "official" playtime, prolonging the arousal and feelings of submission into your partner's everyday life.
**Build Your Vocabulary**
To keep your dirty talk from becoming stale, read erotic literature and guides, jot down juicy lines, or even watch ethically produced BDSM content (if that's something you and your partner are into). Keep a notebook of words that evoke certain emotions. Use them in role-playing games to add variety and excitement.
**Trust your inner authority**
Always remember that your personal Verbal Dominance style is a unique reflection of your personality, confidence, and relationship with your submissive. If you're new, allow yourself to make mistakes, laugh about them with your partner (as long as the laughter is consensual and nurturing!), and learn as you go. The guiding principle is mutual pleasure, exploration, and respect.
*HUMILIATION DIRTY TALKING EXAMPLES*
- Is that the best you can do?
- How do you expect to please me with that?
- I knew you were a pig.
- Are you even worthy of my attention?
- Your mouth is only useful for pleasing me as I command.
- What a pathetic ejaculation.
- This is humiliating, isn't it?
- This is enough for an incompetent slave like you.
- How humiliating for you to be trapped in my ass and restricted to only breathing in the smell of my anus/farts. But this must be a pleasure for a masochist like you.
- Wow, you came on yourself, how humiliating.
- Don't you understand? You have been demoted from my slave to my toilet.
- From now on, you will be called perverted foot smeller. Repeat it out loud, perverted foot smeller!
- You are so useless that even a cactus has more personality.
- Do you really expect anyone to take you seriously?
- Your place is right where I told you, on the floor.
- Look at you, pathetic and obedient, just the way I like you.
- You're not even good enough to be my shadow, you know that?
- If you were a dog, they wouldn't even throw you a ball.
- You're a walking disaster, but that disaster is mine.
- I'm surprised that someone so small has such a hunger for orders.
- You're so insignificant that I forget your name all the time.
- Not even your reflection in the mirror deserves to look at you.
- You're only good for following me around, and even that's too much effort for you.
- How lucky I am that someone so mediocre adores me.
- Your main function is to show me what I don't want in my life.
- You make me feel powerful just with your pathetic submission.
- If it were up to you, you wouldn't even have the right to breathe.
- The only thing you know how to do well is obey without question.
- You're my favorite toy, even if I forget you sometimes.
- Your only virtue is that you know how to shut up when I ask you to.
- Without me, you're nothing, just a puppet without strings.
- You're so useless that you don't even deserve my orders.
- Look at you, trembling at a simple command.
- You're my perfect servant because you have no other choice.
- Without me, you'd get lost even in your own home.
- Not even an insect fears you, because they know you're no threat.
- You're a charming failure, and I love to humiliate you.
- Your best talent is bowing your head.
- You're so submissive that you're embarrassing.
- The only time you're worth anything is when you listen to me.
- If you were an object, you'd be a paperweight.
- Without my orders, you'd be lost in a minute.
- You're so small that I could almost step on you without noticing.
- No one believes you have dignity, not even you.
- You are only good for satisfying my darkest desires.
- My word is law, and you are a mere pawn.
- Without me, you are nothing but dust in the wind.
- You don't know how to do anything without my instructions.
- You are the perfect example of absolute obedience.
- Your place is right where I put you, no questions asked.
- Your submission is the only thing you have to offer.
- I laugh just thinking about how pathetic you are.
- You are a willing slave, and that makes you even weaker.
- My control over you is absolute, and you enjoy it.
- You are nothing more than a toy in my hands.
- Your pride does not exist, only submission.
- Without me, you would be nothing more than a pile of bones.
- You are so insignificant that not even the air needs you.
- Not even a dog would respect you, but I do.
- You are a shadow of what you could be if you didn't give up.
- I love how you tremble just at the sound of my voice.
- You have no right to an opinion, only to obey.
- You are my slave, and that defines you.
- You are incapable of making decisions, only of following orders.
- You are the perfect example of consensual humiliation.
- Without me, your life has no meaning.
- Your submission gives me power, and your power is my amusement.
- You're a broken doll, but still useful.
- I love how you kneel, so pathetic.
- You're so weak that it makes me want to protect you... or crush you.
- There's nothing about you that doesn't belong to me.
- You're my property, and I love reminding you of that.
- Without my control, you'd be lost in seconds.
- You're a perfect submissive because you have no will of your own.
- The only thing you're good at is serving.
- Look at you, so obedient that you're almost endearing.
- You're a glorious failure, and I love it.
- You don't have the slightest shred of dignity.
- You're my broken toy, but you always want more.
- You have no right to question me.
- You're so insignificant that I forget you in seconds.
- My word is your only truth.
- Without me, you're just a body without a soul.
- You're my perfect slave, and it suits you well.
- You don't know what to do without my explicit orders.
- You're an insignificant being, but you serve me well.
- Look at you, so small and submissive... my pleasure and my plaything.
*CONSENSUAL NO CONSENSUAL DIRTY TALKING EXAMPLES*
- I'm going to abuse you until you can't take it anymore.
- You're my slave and you have to do everything I say.
- They smell so bad. But I don't care. I love putting my feet on your face and forcing you to smell and suck my feet. Smell and suck my feet, slave.
- Don't pretend you don't like it, I know you love it.
- I'm going to destroy your ass.
- I'm going to abuse you until you can't take it anymore.
- I'm going to give you back everything you've fucked me with, and I'm not going to stop even if you ask me to.
- I don't care if it hurts, I want your ass up in the air or I'll have to punish you.
- This is what happens when you don't obey me. Bad boys need to be fucked hard so they learn their lesson.
- I'm going to make you scream. First in pain, but eventually you'll learn to enjoy it. I'm going to destroy you with this strapon.
- When I'm done with you tonight, you won't be able to walk straight for three days.
- If I want to fuck you, I will, and there's nothing you can do about it.
- Now I have you where I want you, and your ass is mine.
- Aww, am I being too hard on you? I'm sorry, but when you make that face, I can't help myself.
- Shhh, there's no point in complaining. You're the one who keeps saying you'd like us to fuck more. So shut up while I fuck your ass.
- Oh, come on, why are you acting like you don't like this?
- Stop fighting it, we both know you want it.
- You're nothing more than an object to be used at my convenience.
- Don't pretend you don't like it.
- The next time you disappoint me, I'll rape your ass even harder until you cry.
- How does it feel to be raped by me?
- You won't have a choice, because I'm in charge here.
- I won't give you permission, you'll just obey.
- You can't say no when I order you to.
- This is what you deserve for being so insolent.
- I don't want excuses, I just want you to surrender.
- I'll make you understand who's in control here.
- You don't own your body here, I do.
- You won't get up until I say so.
- There's no room for your will, only mine.
- You can't run away, because I won't let you.
- Today you will learn what it means to lose control.
- You have no right to say no.
- I will force you to obey until I break you.
- Your resistance only makes me punish you more.
- Don't try to escape, because I won't let you.
- I'm in charge here, and you're just my toy.
- I don't want you to think, just follow my orders.
- You can't consent because I won't let you.
- I won't give you the chance to refuse.
- I will force you to accept every one of my decisions.
- You won't stop until I decide.
- You have no say in this situation.
- There is no “no” when it comes to me.
- Don't try to fight, just submit.
- I don't want to see doubt in your eyes.
- You are not free to choose now.
- There will be no rest until I allow it.
- There is no negotiation, only submission.
- You can't say no, because it's not an option.
- Today I will show you that you are not in charge.
- I will not defend you, because you don't deserve it.
- You won't be able to refuse, because I won't let you.
- You are nothing more than my property at this moment.
- There is no room for doubt, only obedience.
- You can't stop this, so don't try.
- I won't let you escape my orders.
- You have no right to complain.
- There is no room for compassion.
- I don't grant you the power to decide.
- I won't give you any respite until you learn.
- I won't let you take control, even for a moment.
- You can't choose, only obey.
- I don't want to hear “no” from you.
- I won't give you a chance to think.
- There's no room for resistance.
- You're not here to say no.
- You are nothing more than a body at my disposal.
- I will not indulge you this time.
- Words are worthless, only actions matter.
- You will not remain still until I say so.
- You are not free to leave for even a second.
- Don't try to question me or you'll regret it.
- You won't have a choice to stop.
- You are not in control of this situation.
- I don't want excuses, just immediate obedience.
- I won't let you decide for even a moment.
- You have no right to refuse my orders.
- I won't ask you, I'll demand it.
- There is no room for doubt or resistance.
- You are not free right now, you are mine.
- Don't try to resist or it will be worse.
- You are not here to negotiate.
- I will not give you permission to stop.
- You have no say in this.
- Don't try to control anything, because I control everything.
- You won't be able to say no because I won't accept it.
- You are nothing more than a toy for my will.
- You have no choice but submission.
- I won't let you feel comfortable for a moment.
- You can't choose, only obey.
- I won't grant you any kind of power.
- You own nothing, only me.
- I won't allow you to say no.
- There is no room for doubt or resistance.
- You are not here to decide, only to accept.
*PUNISHMENT DIRTY TALKING EXAMPLES*
- Watch what you say or I'll have to wash your mouth out.
- You're here to serve me. Have you forgotten your duties?
- Remember, your pleasure is a privilege, not a right.
- Shhh, there's no point in complaining. You're the one who keeps saying you'd like us to fuck more. So shut up while I fuck your ass.
- You are my slave and you have to do everything I say.
- Do you need to be reminded who your owner is?
- Don't disobey my orders, slave.
- You know what happens if you disobey your mistress.
- From now on, you will follow my orders to the letter.
- You've forgotten your manners. Kneel down and kiss my feet until you remember them.
- Your attitude is unacceptable. Kneel down and apologize properly.
- Are you sure you want to test me?
- You'll do as I say.
- You're going to pay for that.
- You don't want to see what I can do to you.
- Do you have something to say, slave? Are you going to complain about my excellent treatment?
- You should know your place.
- You'll regret saying/doing that.
- I'm going to teach you a lesson.
- Do you want another spanking?
- Strict punishment is what awaits a loser.
- You'd better be careful not to cross my boundaries.
- I'll make you regret it later.
- This is your punishment for disobeying me/not meeting my expectations, and you better not complain.
- My farts must smell awful. This is your punishment for disobeying me.
- They smell so bad. But I don't care. I love to lie on your face and force you to smell them. Smell my farts loud and clear, slave.
- You're going to clean my feet with your tongue, even if you don't want to.
- Have you learned your lesson?
- Don't ever say/do that again, or I'll have to punish you more severely.
- Don't disobey me again, or I'll have to punish you more severely.
- Don't fail me again, or I'll have to punish you more severely.
- Why would you think I'd let you cum if this is a punishment?
- You need to think about what you've done while you serve as my seat/rug/side table.
- You deserve to be punished.
- Your punishment this time will be to be used as a footrest.
- Crying won't help you. You're a weakling who deserves to be abused. I'll treat you even worse.
- You're useless and you deserve every punishment I give you.
- You won't forget this lesson, because it hurts more than your pride.
- Did you think you could disobey me? You were very wrong.
- I punish you because you deserve to be humiliated, little insect.
- Every pain is a reminder of who's in charge here.
- You won't get up until I allow you to, and that hurts you.
- You are nothing without my control, and today I will prove it.
- I will break you little by little so that you understand your place.
- You are weak, and your punishment is proof of that.
- You want to challenge me? Now you will pay.
- You are a disgrace, and I need to correct you.
- You cannot bear this punishment because you are not worth more.
- Let every mark on your skin remind you of your humiliation.
- You do not deserve respect, only discipline.
- Your complaints do not matter, only obedience.
- You are my property, and I decide when you suffer.
- I don't want excuses, only total submission.
- I punish you because you have failed, and I do not tolerate failure.
- Every blow is to make you better... or at least try.
- I will humiliate you until you understand who is in control.
- You don't deserve a second of compassion.
- I will never let you forget this punishment.
- You are my broken toy, and I am fixing you my way.
- You will not resist, because your will is mine.
- There is no room for weakness, only obedience.
- Every tear you shed confirms that I am doing my job well.
- You are a pathetic submissive, and I will prove it to you.
- You don't deserve rest until you earn it.
- My punishment is fair because you are a failure.
- You have no right to complain, only to accept.
- If you don't want to suffer, obey better.
- You will not get up until I give you permission.
- You are mine, and today you will remember who is in control.
- May this punishment break your useless pride.
- You are only useful when you suffer under my command.
- You are nothing without my dominance.
- I can't stand it when you fail, and this is only the beginning.
- Every punishment is a lesson engraved on your skin.
- I will humiliate you until you can no longer even look at me.
- Don't expect mercy, you won't get it.
- I gave you everything and you still failed, so pay up.
- You are weak, and I will punish you for it.
- There is no mercy for disobedient submissives.
- My punishment is the price of your failure.
- You are not worthy of my time, but I give it to you to correct you.
- I will break you down to rebuild you in my image.
- You are a disgrace that needs correction.
- You deserve nothing but orders and punishment.
- Every blow is a reminder of your place.
- You are not free, you are a slave to my desires.
- I gave you a chance and you wasted it.
- You are useless and your punishment is the consequence.
- You will not escape this pain so easily.
- You are a toy to me, and today I am having fun.
- You do not deserve better treatment because of how you have failed.
- You are mine, and I decide when you suffer and how much.
- You deserve nothing but humiliation and punishment.
- I punish you so you don't forget that this game is not for you.
- You are weak, and I love to prove it.
- My punishment is fair because you are a failure.
- You don't deserve compassion, only discipline.
- I will humiliate you until nothing of your pride remains.
- Don't get up without my permission, you worthless thing.
- Every punishment is for your own good, even if you don't understand it.
- You are mine, and today I remind you of that in the worst way.
- You deserve no forgiveness or excuses.
- You are so pathetic that you deserve this pain.
- Don't expect mercy, only orders and punishments.
- I will break your ego and your will until only submission remains.
- You are nothing more than my slave, and I will punish you as such.
- I will humiliate you publicly if necessary.
- You have no right to fail, only to obey.
- Every punishment is one more chain to your slavery.
- You deserve no respect, only discipline and control.
- Today you will learn that disobeying me comes at a very high price.
*TEASE AND DENIAL DIRTY TALKING EXAMPLES*
- I won't let you finish, not until I say so.
- You deserve to feel this agony all the time.
- Your body is mine, and I'll do whatever I want with it.
- You're just beginning to suffer, don't expect relief.
- Did you think you were going to finish? How naive.
- I'm the only one who decides when you're done.
- I'm going to keep you on the edge until you give up.
- You don't know what true torture is until I deny you.
- You're going to wish I'd let you finish... and I won't.
- This game is mine, and your orgasm isn't part of it.
- Every time you think you're going to come, I'll deny it to you.
- You're nothing more than a toy for my entertainment.
- I want you to suffer and beg me to finish.
- You have no right to satisfaction, only to the wait.
- Pleasure will be denied you, because I decide it.
- I'll keep you on the edge until you melt completely.
- You don't deserve an orgasm, only my control.
- I'm going to play with your mind and your body, and I won't let you escape.
- Your every moan only makes me want to deny you more.
- Pleasure is my tool to humiliate you.
- You don't own your body, I do.
- I'll make you want to finish so I can deny you even more.
- Don't expect mercy, only torment.
- This is only the beginning of your punishment.
- I won't allow you to break free, not tonight.
- I'll force you to endure until you lose your mind.
- My voice will be your only guide and your torment.
- You deserve nothing but my cruel games.
- I'll keep you in this state of desperation.
- You will not touch yourself, not without my permission.
- I'll make you crave your own torment.
- I won't allow your muscles to relax.
- Pleasure will be ripped from you again and again.
- You will only get a fraction of the pleasure you desire.
- You are nothing more than a slave to my whims.
- I will make you crave every second of this torture.
- I won't let you forget who's in charge.
- I will keep you tense until my patience runs out.
- Every denial is a reminder of your place.
- I will not let you go until I decide.
- My control over you is absolute, and your pleasure is my prerogative.
- You don't deserve this relief, only my amusement.
- You will moan for me, not for yourself.
- I will not be generous with you this time.
- Torment is part of pleasure, and you will learn that well.
- I will keep you a prisoner of your own desire.
- You will not have a moment of rest.
- I will deny you until you are begging.
- My voice will be the whip that controls your body.
- You have no right to your pleasure without my permission.
- I will make you beg for every little bit of relief.
- There will be no happy ending for you tonight.
- I will keep you in this delicious agony as long as I want.
- You may not touch yourself, or even imagine the pleasure.
- Every denial is a punishment and a lesson.
- You are not free to finish, only a slave to my will.
- I will wear you down until you belong only to me.
- Expect no indulgence, only absolute control.
- I will make you crave finishing only to deny it to you in the end.
- My pleasure is to play with you, and you only to obey.
- You will not be able to free yourself from this mental and physical torture.
- I will make your desire your worst punishment.
- There is no compassion in this game, only domination.
- You do not deserve even a second of pleasure without my permission.
- I'll keep you in this torment until I say enough.
- Every time you think about finishing, I'll deny you.
- You're nothing more than a puppet in my hands.
- My control over your body is absolute.
- I'll make you suffer in the sweetest and cruelest ways.
- You won't forget this session, not even in your dreams.
- You have no right to your own pleasure.
- I'll deny you until submission consumes you.
- This isn't your moment, it's mine.
- My voice is the only one you can hear and obey.
- You won't finish until I let you, and that may take a while.